The Lump

The screening mammogram that they do every two years picked up a small lump.  Emphasis on “small”, and they seemed confident that it was also caught early and everything seemed optimistic etc etc.

Don’s greatest fear has always been that something will happen to me.  So at first I thought I would not even tell him, in fact in the first confused feelings I thought it would be hard to tell anyone at all.  But of course that was ridiculous, and within a day or two I decided to be completely open about it and tell anyone, and of course Don above all people deserved to know.

In the end I just told him very matter-of-factly that I had a small lump and they were going to cut it out and it might take a few days away but then it would all be back to normal.  He accepted the whole thing without fuss and in fact I thought he might not even remember.  I was wrong, and as the days go on he seems to be getting more anxious about it rather than less.

That was over a week ago, and I think it is weighing on his mind even more now that I have had the surgery.  Every day he asks about it, and then might ask the same question again, just half an hour later, and then again later before I leave.  Hard to know how to reassure him.  I guess after the follow-up consultation when we know for sure what is happening, it will be easier.

Trackback

only 1 comment

  1. I’m sure Don is anxious. What could be worse for him than anything happening to your dear self? I trust you’ve told the staff, too, so they understand if he is agitated or withdrawn. We are thinking of you both. Love, Harriet and Bruce